Last night was super windy at the campus. The
mosquito net covering the ventilators was playing with the wind to produce
sounds which sounded like music sometime and reminded of ramsay brothers
sometime.
The
silence of the night at campus respects even the drop of a pin. The wind had
all the opportunity to make it’s presence felt. Almost every opaque object
which had at least one end lose, was moving with a random rhythm. The beam
balance had only one tight end. So, it was literally freaking out.
It
appeared as if the wind wanted to blow away every object which came it’s way.
I woke up around 5 in the morning and my mind
compared the image of sound of the wind which I slept with and the one I woke
up with. I realized the wind had settled. I went out and checked clothes, the
buckets, the utensils…that were left outside to enjoy the moonlight. They were
all sitting safely, smiling at me. A thought struck me: “The wind said it would
blow everything away but, it didn’t mean
it.” But, for this thought to dawn, I had to wait for the wind to settle.
It
reminded me of myself when the winds of my emotions were flowing with high
energy. In some cases the winds gave me a sailing experience. In some, a
sailing for others. In some, it promised to take everyone (in it’s way) along.
In some, it threatened to blow away everything in it’s way.
In all
cases: “did I mean all I said?” To be fair to the rest of the world around me,
when they express themselves, “do they mean exactly what they say, for the rest
of their life?” I am not trying to undervalue the words we speak. Neither do I
mean that expressions are random. I just want to highlight the temporal nature
of the images about ourselves and others. For example, say: “Namrata ignores
what I say.” I actually mean: “Namrata ignored what I said right now.” Now go
to an extreme: “We should get divorced.” She actually means: “Let’s stay away for
an hour and come back.” J
When I look
at the rest of world as “they don’t mean it”, it gives me peace. When I look at
my own expression as “I don’t mean it”, it relieves me of the responsibility of defending my words. I
would have said: “he is very arrogant” and next time when I see him humble, I
don’t need to burden myself with a conflict. I suddenly realize how I used to
take myself so seriously.
I am reminded of a zen monk who was approached
by a seeker. The seeker requested the monk: “Can you teach me how to control my
emotions?” As they walked along, there was a cool breeze moving the clothes of
the monk. The monk replied: “My clothes are flying away. Can you please catch
the wind for me?”
Few
questions to ponder on:
- Who controls wind - it’s speed, intensity, direction?
- Does it have a purpose behind blowing?
- Who originates the wind?
